Crime Story Buffs T-Shirts

"Check with our legal people if we can publish a detective story in which the murderer turns out to be the author."

"Any ID aside from dental records?"

Witless protection prgram

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

"It's a shame that politics has entered crime, isn't it?"

hard-boiled egg...

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'You know too much,'

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Puss in cement boots"

Cat Burglar

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

The evidence destroyed

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

"Paper or plastic?"

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."