Crime Scene Fanfic Writer Gifts

'The police report says that he had a great fall... but I'm going to run some tests.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Puss in cement boots"

Cat Burglar

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

The Philip Marlow family

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

The evidence destroyed

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."