Crime Scene Comic Gifts

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"

Mou...Man trap!

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

"Forensics put time of death about 3 hours ago chief. . .they're certain it was a potato gun."

Joke Shop.

Sinister looking man sits near outline of body, with a sign that reads: 'All my own work'.

'The police report says that he had a great fall... but I'm going to run some tests.'

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

'If you are going to be a CSI, you can't say yuck at everything you see!'

"Ironically all the guys from the hunting lodge were on the 'Nice' list."

Amateurs Night.

Dental records help ID the body. That's how they know who to bill.

"It appears the water pressue on the bidet misfired and she blew up like a pufferfish..."

"Just pick out the one who ate your husband."

"If he was holding up play, we'd call it 'justified homicide'"

"It's the city's new taxpayer-funded crime beautification program."

'Looks like an inside job to me, Sarge.'

"But on the other hand..."

'We've searched the whole house, and there's still no sign of the evidence. To be honest, I'm starting to think we've got the wrong guy.'

"Sorry, boss, but the decline of the printed word has made creating a ransom note increasingly challenging."

'Can't we put this behind us and move on?'

Police patrol car with chalk body outlines on it.

'We could try to identify him through dental records inspector...'

"He left a really odd suicide note, it reads: 'One extra pint and a strawberry yogurt please'."

'We almost had him, lieutenant. He was about to confess to luring in victims with a duck call...'

Law and Order: SUV

'It's not fair. The Fed pays people good salaries for doing the same thing.'

"You have no 401 K, …. and you call yourself a career criminal?"

Everybody made fun of Josh for being afraid of his shadow, but later that day, they would all be sorry.

'Remember, not Barclays, that's where our money is...'

Cop club