Crime Comic Reader Gifts

A robber reads a book on banking

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

The Amazing Man-Spider

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

X-ray Psychology.

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

Time Machine Collision

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

The Salmon Run

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

Fish snorkling above water.

wattle covers

Muhammad Ali publishes a popup book.

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"How many darn burritos did you eat?"

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

'Yes Mr Hare, you were right: He IS on steroids!'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

'Well, back to the old drawing board.'

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Mou...Man trap!

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'