Crime Satire Appreciators Gifts

"Don't worry. You're insured, aren't you?"

Mikado

Mou...Man trap!

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

Excessive Paperwork

"...and how long have you been a smoked Kipper Grader?"

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

Mafia machine gun case.

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

Money Launderette

'And what do you do?'

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

Cartoon Gangsters - I'm gonna have to get Lumpy to rub you out!

Smelly mugger unfazed by victims CS Gas

Incriminating Evidence Against the Cat Burglar.

My guys will loot, Bjorn's guys will pillage and your guys will make it all legal.

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

"Did any of these guys sell you the acid?"

'Whoever said 'dressed to kill' hasn't seen your average murderer.'

"He's currently unavailable. Would you care to wait?"

"Just pick out the one who ate your husband."

"OK, since you have a medical card the cat nip is legal, but I'm going to be watching you."

How ghastly! He's holding his knife like a pen!

"Try to be patient, sir. Give your stick-up text a few seconds to upload."

"Of course we have evidence. The whole thing was captured on video."

"It's a HO.. HO.. HOLD-UP!"

Murder Village - Bursts of street fighting every half hour