Crime Satire Appreciator Gifts

'Mob school'

'It's for liability reasons.'

"Housekeeping?!"

Mou...Man trap!

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

"...and how long have you been a smoked Kipper Grader?"

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

Mafia machine gun case.

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

King Commute.

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

Money Launderette

'And what do you do?'

Cartoon Gangsters - I'm gonna have to get Lumpy to rub you out!

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

Incriminating Evidence Against the Cat Burglar.

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

Smelly mugger unfazed by victims CS Gas

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

"No, she likes me best!"

"Did any of these guys sell you the acid?"

'Tower, we are ready for takeoff.'

'Whoever said 'dressed to kill' hasn't seen your average murderer.'

How ghastly! He's holding his knife like a pen!

Hall of Mirrors

'I can't say that I have a specific interest in presidents or scientists. What have you got in the way of autographs by short, obnoxious autocratic bosses?'

"Of course we have evidence. The whole thing was captured on video."