Crime Satire Appreciators T-Shirts

"Don't worry. You're insured, aren't you?"

Mikado

Mou...Man trap!

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

Excessive Paperwork

"...and how long have you been a smoked Kipper Grader?"

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

Mafia machine gun case.

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

'And what do you do?'

Money Launderette

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

Cartoon Gangsters - I'm gonna have to get Lumpy to rub you out!

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

Incriminating Evidence Against the Cat Burglar.

Smelly mugger unfazed by victims CS Gas

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

"Did any of these guys sell you the acid?"

"OK, since you have a medical card the cat nip is legal, but I'm going to be watching you."

How ghastly! He's holding his knife like a pen!

'Whoever said 'dressed to kill' hasn't seen your average murderer.'

Murder Village - Bursts of street fighting every half hour

"Of course we have evidence. The whole thing was captured on video."

"It's all there. And because of the pressure to conform to social norms I've included a 20% tip."

"It's a HO.. HO.. HOLD-UP!"