Crime Drama Gifts

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

Money Laundering in New York City

The interrogation of Freddy the Fire Alarm.

Noir kitty.

Grilled Salmon

"My defense attorney couldn't shake the witness's identity of me as the perpetrator."

"That's not really Joey, it's a hologram. He needs a good alibi for tonight."

Patent attorney tries a murder case': "You say footprints from a fleetline running shoe (pat. pending) were found outside the wetha-gard window (pat. no B14-300-T92)..."

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

'Even I thought this one would show up. Wasn't it a condition of his bail?'

Britain's Got Knives: 'Thank you...Next!'

'What's my story? I was 'sold down the river', then 'sent up the river.''

'It's hard to choose. Can you find out if the second one from the left is married?'

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'Keep it moving. Nothing to see here!'

After he was fired in retaliation for whistleblowing and failed to get justice in court, an L.A. cop went on a shooting spree that culminated with his suicide in a burning cabin surrounded by his former colleagues.

'That's him. Number 3 is the one who attacked me.'

'I thought I heard a siren.'

'Uh, Congressman, maybe you should put some of this in your WIFE'S name.'

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

Good Cop/Bad Cop/Russ

"They're always in the last place you look."

"Oh, so now I'm the bad guy."

Pssst... Ivermectin?

" 'Complimentary' or not, you can't take ninety million dollars' worth of mints."

"You are breaking so many laws right now I don't even know where to begin."

Joan Hickson

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Minority Report

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

Next camera crew 5 mins