Crime And Romance Analyst Gifts

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

Mobsters at the Beach

'Why is it always about me?'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

Newton's Law and Order.

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

Medellin erases the image of Escobar

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

"Law & Order: Museum Guards."

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

"We have ways of making you talk."

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

Violence in Mexico

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."

'Luigi wants to know if you have considered consolidating all your existing debts into one manageable monthly payment?'

'Counterfeiting? Whadda you mean? I was just pumping up the local economy.'

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

'In a surprise move today, the DEA arrested the CIA.'

Crime Stoppers Stopper / Cash to keep yer trap shut