Crime And Romance Analyst Gifts

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

Mobsters at the Beach

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

'Why is it always about me?'

Newton's Law and Order.

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

Lover's leap and Infatuation leap.

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

Medellin erases the image of Escobar

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

Violence in Mexico

"Law & Order: Museum Guards."

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

"We have ways of making you talk."

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'

'Ever since we converted the church into a jail, everyone is finding Jesus.'

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."

'Luigi wants to know if you have considered consolidating all your existing debts into one manageable monthly payment?'

Crime Stoppers Stopper / Cash to keep yer trap shut

'In a surprise move today, the DEA arrested the CIA.'

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."