Crime And Punishment Aficionados T-Shirts

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'Make it look like an accident.'

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

Bank Robbery Statistics

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

'Emotional blackmail.'

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

"I'm going out for beef chow mein - want anything?"

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

Truman Capote

"I hate when this happens."

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

'Before we go in, try to forget everything you thought you knew about criminal masterminds!'

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."

'Sure, I did all that stuff once, but this is the NEW me.'

"My son is a saint - he's always cooperating with the authorities."

"With all due respect, instead of the phrase 'bank robbery,' we request the alleged incident be referred to as an 'Elmore Leonard moment!'"

'I always return to the scene of the crime. Is that normal?'

Mob Shrink

"OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!"

"OK, how about 'proactively striving for excellence in da rackets game?"

"Gentlemen, our troubles are over, this is Tony 'The Torch' Barbella"

"Where were you five minutes ago when someone was stealing my getaway car?"

Bankruptcy Attorneys: "If you ain't broke, we can fix it."

Police borrows a tricycle to catch a bank robber.