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'You must have doubts because even I don't know if my client is innocent or guilty.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

'The highest court in the land.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

The Investigation

'Make it look like an accident.'

"No offence Jon, but..."

Ancient Egyptian crime scenes.

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

'I think we both know that's a decoy.'

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

The Mousetrap, by Agatha Christie

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

Fake Counterfeit Money