Cricket Pitch Philosopher Gifts

'Get over it, Brady. Pitchers at this level are expected to get batters out. Randy there gave up eight runs in one inning...'

"Good game."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

End of football season - UK

"You have a good lie."

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

The 18-hole course is to the left and a 9-hole course is to the right --- Which do you want to play? I'll decide after my first tee shot?

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

Cheating Death

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

'Violence solves everything...'

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

"Just fetch, don't ask why."

...'So I said forget about the wages, I just want to play football.'

'I will need to watch the replay.'

The Thinking Man's Rugby

"Sorry, I don't know what a handball is anymore either."

'We lost six nil!. . . and we were lucky to get the nil!'

''I'm missing the football game' is very incisive. Can you go on with that thought.'

'I wouldn't mind but the video replay showed I was right to award the penalty.'

Grim Reaper in trainers.