Creative Dog Owner Gifts

50 Shades of Grey Crayon Set for Dogs

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Dog Dressed to Eat

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

Artists Cats

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"Pampered?"

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"You're amazing!"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Bad dog!"

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"We started with fetch and heel, but we've moved on to impasto and chiaroscuro."

When Pugs dream.

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'I find the ultrasonic whistle musically limiting, so I've invented an ultrasonic flute...'

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

"What's so amazing? It's a paint by the numbers artist kit."

The Haunted Dog House

Cat Show - Sheds Most

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

"I never liked dogs in any of my previous lives either."

Cat builds a castle in it's litter tray.

Beware of dog (bomb vest)

'...I'd prefer it if you didn't fetch my iPad.'

"Tinkles where's Timmy?"

'Do you extract teeth?'

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"Goddam Dogs."

'So I decided, why not a REAL attack dog running mate?'