Cream Puff Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Give me all your money and half a dozen cream puffs!'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

How judicious you are/How thin you spread it

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"It turs out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"Nothing says butter - like something from the udder."

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'That's enough cream. Please stop.'

"We met over the holidays."

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

Ice scream man...

'Whipped cream?'

"I charge according to the size of the target."

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

"Before I pass judgement on you, I would like to see if butter really doesn't melt in your mouth."

' Police investigating the theft of sixty cases of custard powder have released this photofit of a man they'd like to question.'

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 50 calories? False advertising.'

'Pete's coffee shop? I'm calling from precision Labs. Please send over a chocolate muffin and a large container of coffee with 4.7 sugar and 12.2 cream.'

Once again, the conversation gets too heated, and the selection of a state muffin has to be shelved until next year.

"I think we need to get some cream on that"

Clinker Built Dinghy Made Entirely of Custard

"The first mistake was bringing donuts to a room full of muffin people."

'What kinda dessert will I miss out on if I don't eat this stuff'

Tills labelled 'regular', 'express', and 'why do you always forget the butter.'

"One coffee and 12 creams."

"Well yes, I admit it, I ate Young Master's homework, but in my defence, it was his "Food Technology" homework: savoury muffins..."

Where wrinkle cream comes from. . .