Crayon Crusader Gifts

'I thought you encouraged self-expression!'

"You don't want to waste your time crayoning on the walls, you wanna get yourelf a couple of spray cans!"

Face painting by numbers.

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

"Please buddy, can you spare a carbon credit?"

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

Energy performance certificate nailed to wall exhausts employer.

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

'Just how much carbon are we supposed to offset?'

'I wonder if everyone else is making as much effort as us to reduce global warming.'

"Hurray! We've solved global warming!"

Hourglass earth - time running out

Net Zero Superstitions

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

"Quit moving"

Climate Change Denier's Playbook

'This wasn't in the adventure brochure!'

Fully decked out in his new skimmer-Boy Mike was able to skim the pool in just 60 seconds,

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

'Face it, DuChamps -- you're in a rut.'

A Blanksy

'I'm trying to transmute lead into a combustible fuel that will produce no smoke.' 'Turning it into gold will be easier.'

"Shouldn't have had that curried cauliflower soup..."

'It's difficult to get passioniate about things you can't pronounce.'

"I've just finished crafting a non-violent solution to our problems."

Carbon capture and storage

'Let's not overreact. We're just in solvent, not bankrupt.'

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

"Not again!"

Heathrow Protesters - This airport's rubbish!