Crayon Crusader Gifts

'I thought you encouraged self-expression!'

"You don't want to waste your time crayoning on the walls, you wanna get yourelf a couple of spray cans!"

Face painting by numbers.

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

Energy performance certificate nailed to wall exhausts employer.

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

'Just how much carbon are we supposed to offset?'

'I wonder if everyone else is making as much effort as us to reduce global warming.'

"Hurray! We've solved global warming!"

Net Zero Superstitions

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

"Quit moving"

Hourglass earth - time running out

Climate Change Denier's Playbook

'This wasn't in the adventure brochure!'

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

"Not again!"

"I've just finished crafting a non-violent solution to our problems."

"When they said they wanted to be saved, I assumed they were talking long term."

Carbon capture and storage

'Face it, DuChamps -- you're in a rut.'

'It's difficult to get passioniate about things you can't pronounce.'

'I'm trying to transmute lead into a combustible fuel that will produce no smoke.' 'Turning it into gold will be easier.'

Heathrow Protesters - This airport's rubbish!

'Let's not overreact. We're just in solvent, not bankrupt.'

A Blanksy

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'