Craving Curator T-Shirts

'It better be good - we only eat once a month.'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

Turtle Hat

You had me at vintage.

Crane Game. Ball Game.

"The new house is almost ready!"

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Redecorating Easter Island.

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

'Well, it's about time!'

Museum of Mediocre Art.

Shark swimming in a bathtub surrounded by blood.

Pizza and Related Searches.

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"Instead of 'It sucks' you should say, 'It doesn't speak to me.'"

E-commerce for shoplifters.

Please examine your children's tv before they watch it as mistakes can not afterwards be rectified

The passage of time.

'My God, you're right - they are all back issues of TV guide.'

'Excuse me. Could you point me towards the books that would look impressive on my bookshelf?'

'That brush - how many dpi?'

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

Private View.

Haile Selassie

For years Melenie stayed home waiting for the stirrup cords revival.

'My dad thinks I have a future in junk bonds.'

'You always have to be different, don't you?'

Leo Brouwer

The Evolution Of Manhood

Jeff hadn't quite anticipated how he'd feel exhibiting his art publicly for the first time.

"She was an excellent model, but her mother simply couldn't learn to trust me."