Craving Conqueror Gifts

"Doctor, there is a correlation between violence and the low-fat diet. Right now, I'd kill for a doughnut!"

"It's tough sticking to a diet when you're surrounded by temptation."

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

'I'm highly motivated to diet. Unfortunately I'm more motivated to eat.'

'This one is a dieter's dream! Any visits to it between meals and it self destructs!'

'I've started this new 'Detox' diet - no caffeine or alcohol...no processed foods...

"I don't see anything on the menu. Can I just order in from somewhere else?"

'I've decided to help you diet. I had invisible fencing installed around the refrigerator.'

'I'm putting you on food substitute.'

'Diet Plan Rule number one: Stop using ice cream truck music as your ringtone.'

"You are right...testing shows you have chocolate in your DNA."

"I need a few more minutes to resolve an internal battle between my soaring cholesterol level and a craving for french fries."

Homo Gamus

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

To do before Saturday...

Gamers

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

The Adrenal Gland Answers Your Questions

"What do you mean you can't stand to be touched?"

Yoga To-Do

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

Riding the Rollercoaster.

'Maybe change is a good thing.'

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!'

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

'I got over my fear of clowns by marrying one.'