Romantic Conqueror Gifts

R.A. is a nympho.

Homo Gamus

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

Cosmonaut

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Gamers

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

"This is fun. I'm usually kind of a loner."

Astronaut love

"Well, who's stupid idea was it to honeymoon on Moonlight bay?!"

Valentine Vaccines

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

The Loving Couple

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

I’d like to declare my interest. In what? Commitment. Two kids and a dog. Commitment to kids and a dog? And to going for long walks on the beach, to gazing up at the stars, to growing old together … What? I thought you were talking about two kids. That sounds like eight. And why would only tow grow old together? What about the other six? Are you saying they'll grow old at different rates? ... Or are you saying the other six will meet some untimely fate and not grow old at all? Then she asked if

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

Dropping Bombs and Hearts

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

Mate Mart

Happy Valentine's Day.

'Do you have anything cheap but guaranteed to help me get laid?'

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

'For many months, you've been preparing to enter the sea of matrimony, and today, you walk the plank.'

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

Carbon Dating Agency

'For goodness sake, don't struggle. I think this is quicksand.'

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

"I can't wait to see what you're like online."

"We think it had something to do with love."