Crank Appreciator Gifts

Fussbudget 1989

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

Brickie's Mate

Old-fashioned computer

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Tortured Plank

'It's a hybrid.'

"Your antique gold watch didn't float."

'Maybe so, but I bet that beer is nature's second most perfect food!'

Beer

"I knew you was mad when you tried to sell me to them "American Pickers" fellers."

"Careful now. It's fragile."

'Wow, I hate to be disturbed when I'm enjoying a good brew, too.'

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

Painting the Sistine Chapel. 1508. 1509. 1510. 1511. 1512. It looks great, Michelangelo, but there's one thing I don't understand. Why didn't you just paint it in the regular way and then mount it on the ceiling?

"Here in Blackrock we do things different."

Perpetual Motion.

I think this is the episode of "Leave It to Beaver" where Wally and Eddie chain Lumpy's car to a tree. Couldn

Barristers playing a joke

Have you installed the heater?

'Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be...'

"With Mindfulness, one may learn to sit through all distractions."

Child found in the Street is Brought into Shelter at a Ragged School

Michelangelo's David

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."

"I don't know who on Facebook told you, but I can assure you Stradivarius didn't make accordions!"

"Joey ripped me off. Last week I showed him this ad for a 1964 Chevy Impala...and he went out and bought it."

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

At the Flip-Flop Quality Control Center.

Any old Gold - 'There's a man ahead of his time'

"Yes, you will get a company car. It'll have a big, blue flashing light on the roof!"

"Please help me get these squirrels out of my pants. This isn't a pickup line. I really need assistance."