Cycle Appreciator Gifts

Maternity/Eternity

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"My kid could do that."

'What if I promise not to look?'

Cat with Crown.

'You'll like this, sir. Instead of the usual boring bio, this year I've done your creation myth.'

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."

'We may think 2012 is over, but history books are full of things we thought were over.'

'It's so beautiful, yet fragile. Safe, yet vulnerable. More precious than any star in the heavens.'

Great Urban Sprawl

Shakespeare in the Industrial Park

At the Old Bikers' Home

"Joey ripped me off. Last week I showed him this ad for a 1964 Chevy Impala...and he went out and bought it."

'Well Ma, I guess it's time to update our milking machine.'

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

Perpetual Motion.

"If only these kids had grown up with the same role models we had, then maybe they wouldn't look so damn ridiculous!"

Standing ovation $5.

'You did ask for the wine steward - now grovel, man, grovel!'

"He's one of my favourites. You feed him milk and cookies and he gives you a present."

'It's for Pookie.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but your warranty, for 'more fun' is void after 90 days if you don't use breathing hole.'

"Obviously we'd have loved to help, but there were so MANY other calls on the public purse!"

"You serve an inferior wine, Ted, but you have a nice view of Peconic Bay."

"With all that tinkering do you really save time?"

"Of course I won. I was already a winner. I didn't even have to run the race."

Hippie with a ban the bomb medallion, Rich man with a Mercedes medallion

Narcissus said his biggest regret is missing out on the selfie era!

"His parents were pretty open-minded, romantically speaking."

"Is this the first time you've been on a computer?"

Bank Front

Fussbudget 1989

"We better be nice to young people. After all, they donate to our soup kitchen."