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'Do you carry this huge gun because you have a very small penis?'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

"You funnin' me, bub?"

Young Gums

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

Draw!

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."

The Not So Wild West

Western Outfitters.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'Bunfight at the O.K corral.'

The Lawman

Tyrannosaurus Tex

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.