Cow Tipper Chuckler Gifts

"Our waitress was terrible. I think you should tip her."

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"They’re real."

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

Pull the udder one

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'Mama! Aliens.'

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

We come in pieces!

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

World of Cow.

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

Farmer Pickles hated it when the cows hummed Darth Vader's theme tune.

Way too much anthropomorphising

'Your barn door's open.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'For him, all food is fast food.'

'Oh, shut up!'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"I think it's your cap, Slim. The cows don't see you as an authority figure."

The herd of hearing.

Either one of us is pregnant, or he's lost his watch again!