Cow Protector Gifts

'Alliance Against Red Meat'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

The Golfing Accident

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

No Soliciting

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"Don't even think about it."

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

The melting polar ice caps

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

Too many of my babies became coats, so I decided to increase security...

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

Fox and a little girl hiding from the rest of the hunt.

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'Since the North Pole melted and we had to migrate south our camouflage stinks!'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

You'll get us thrown out of the carrion Union!

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."