Rural Protector Gifts

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Farm Humor.

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

"Smokey The Tree"

"It seemed like miles to me!"

The Golfing Accident

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"I brought cocoa."

The melting polar ice caps

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

Raining Leaves.

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

Too many of my babies became coats, so I decided to increase security...

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

Fox and a little girl hiding from the rest of the hunt.

A bit of Newlyn.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

You'll get us thrown out of the carrion Union!

The shadow of a tree is a man about to chop it down.

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"