Rural Protector Gifts

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Farm Humor.

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

The Golfing Accident

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Smokey The Tree"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"I brought cocoa."

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

The melting polar ice caps

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

Raining Leaves.

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

Too many of my babies became coats, so I decided to increase security...

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

Fox and a little girl hiding from the rest of the hunt.

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

'Since the North Pole melted and we had to migrate south our camouflage stinks!'

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

The shadow of a tree is a man about to chop it down.