Animal Protectors Gifts

"No moles. It's the PETA version."

'Dad, there's a whaler under my bed!'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

The Golfing Accident

"We’re a lending aquarium."

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"Don't even think about it."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

The melting polar ice caps

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

Too many of my babies became coats, so I decided to increase security...

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

Fox and a little girl hiding from the rest of the hunt.

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"Look, until there's a Tinder for pandas, we have to meet the old-fashioned way: being locked in a room together by scientists."

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

'Since the North Pole melted and we had to migrate south our camouflage stinks!'

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

You'll get us thrown out of the carrion Union!