Couture Comedian Gifts

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"1-1"

Gary turns 40.

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

The Dandy

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

Flight Socks.

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

Cat scares away fish design on man's shirt.

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

"I'm thinking of waxing my back."

Unsuitable clothing.

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

Where Pleather Comes From

'My tux is at the cleaners.'

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

Misguided Hairstyles of The Animal World.

"It's trouble for Chubby when Mitzi brings out the vacuum."

'Timeout! ... Coaching change.'

'It's royal Stilton, put a tie on.'

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."