Sartorial Comedian Gifts

Bob wondered why his odds had rocketed to 100-1.

"1-1"

'My long suit is at the cleaners.'

'You got haberdashed!'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'Have you any W fronts?'

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

The Dandy

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

Flight Socks.

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

Phone Mittens

Cat scares away fish design on man's shirt.

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

"I'm thinking of waxing my back."

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

Unsuitable clothing.

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

'My tux is at the cleaners.'

"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."

Misguided Hairstyles of The Animal World.

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

A Moosetache.

"Do you do these in sheep?"