Courtroom Specialist Gifts

'Identity theft, eh? -- Just who do you think you are?'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

I love Lawyers

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"We make crime pay."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Counsel's Opinion.