
"So, judge—how the hell you doing?"
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"So, judge—how the hell you doing?"
'Objection! He keeps talking. How am I supposed to get his mouth right?'
I love Lawyers
'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'
"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."
"I object!" "Overruled!"
'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'
"Not guilty?"
"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."
"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."
"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"
'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'
"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."
"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."
"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"
The Birth of a Lawsuit
'Don't blame the lawyer!'
'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'
"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."
'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'
"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."
'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'
'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'
'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'
Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?
RBG, RGB, CMYK
"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."
"Can you hear me now?"
'Let's agree to disagree.'
"Let's take in a trial."
Criminal Stupidness
"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."
Judge
'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'
AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'
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