Courtroom Sketch Appreciator Gifts

'He has that certain undefinable something that says he's guilty as sin.'

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Criminal Stupidness

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

Judge

"This is a complex matter, we can't keep repeating 'Possession is nine tenths of the law' at the judge."

Truth, Justice, Equality and Public Relations

'Being granted immunity doesn't include not having to pay my bill.'

'Don't worry, you're a politician. You'll have no trouble pleading insanity.'

'Look, Your Honor -- We're both over-fifty white males, right?'

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

The Sheepdog Trials