Courtroom Sketch Enthusiast Pillows

"So, judge—how the hell you doing?"

'Objection! He keeps talking. How am I supposed to get his mouth right?'

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I object!" "Overruled!"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Not guilty?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"Can you hear me now?"

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

Criminal Stupidness

"Let's take in a trial."

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'