Courtroom Sketch Collector Pillows

Barrister makes vain appeal for thuggish looking defendant

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

Lessons from the Blakely Art School (Now Defunct)

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

Wards / Mortuary

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

'It's not so much to protect his identity - he's just ugly.'

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

"Bad drawing."

"Case dismissed."

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

"Objection! Tar and feathering the witness."

A judge plays with scales held by a statue of Lady Justice.

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'Objection! He keeps talking. How am I supposed to get his mouth right?'

"You're pretty fast stranger, but that's your cell phone."

'Trust me, I'm an Attorney.'

'Which don't you understand, Ms. Booth - the mumbo or the jumbo?'

Preparing justice

'Unzip your pants. . .while you're here, I want to pay up my bill in full.'

'He has that certain undefinable something that says he's guilty as sin.'

'Your Honor, members of the jury and Neilsen viewers...'

"So... that's how lawyers get away with it."

"So, judge—how the hell you doing?"

'You know a little something about the legal system. I like that in a lawyer.'

Seven years in jail is enough time to write a book about it.

'Excuse me, but I've always wanted to do this.'

"You know how it is! We got a warhead, they have to get a warhead."

'Big mistake to have used up all of my jury challenges.'

"Your Honor, on the first ballot the jury voted ten to two for conviction. For three emotionally charged hours, we discussed our points of difference. On the next ballot, it was seven to five for acquittal. Over the next several ballots, the vote seesawed back and forth. One juror became ill and was replaced by an alternate. By now, we had been in session for ten hours straight. Tempers were rising and some jurors were near the breaking point."

'I'll recommend your cartoons if you recommend mine.'