Courtroom Shark Gifts

"Impressed? Well, wait until I tell you about this next case."

Trial by Media

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

I love Lawyers

'Court's in recess!'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Now that's a win."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Planet of the Lawyers

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"We make crime pay."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

Sue The Bastards

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."