Courtroom Comic Fan Pillows

'Your honor, he's clearly guilty. I mean, just look at what the defendant is wearing!'

'But, Your Honor -- if you find my client guilty, the self-esteem problems that led to his crime will just get worse.'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Yawning barristers in court

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"The court granted me a new identity!"

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

Baby's first words.

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"Let's take in a trial."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'If you plead guilty to being the Cat Burglar, I can get you off with just being declawed.'