Comedy Courtroom Fan Pillows

"Before you sentence me, I'd like to remind the court that I was just passing through the building looking for a bathroom."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

"We won!"

"Now that's a win."

Sue the Author 3PM

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Yawning barristers in court

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"They're class action figures."

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

Sue The Bastards

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'