Courtroom Comic Fans Pillows

Yawning barristers in court

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"The court granted me a new identity!"

Baby's first words.

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

"I was never drunk as a skunk, Your Honor. As a chipmunk maybe, but never a skunk."

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'What could you expect? His owner kept calling him a bad dog!'

'My client would like to enter a plea of inanity.'

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."