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Yawning barristers in court

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"The court granted me a new identity!"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

Baby's first words.

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

"Can you identify the person who assaulted you and then stole your title?"

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"I was never drunk as a skunk, Your Honor. As a chipmunk maybe, but never a skunk."

'What could you expect? His owner kept calling him a bad dog!'

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'