Courtroom Cartoon Fan T-Shirts

'Your honour, my witness will testify that the defendant has been naughty since childhood.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"We won!"

"Now that's a win."

Sue the Author 3PM

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

Yawning barristers in court

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"They're class action figures."

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Sue The Bastards

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?