Court Comedy Lover Gifts

'That's one! Any more hurtful comments and you're gone!'

'He was a good coach. But hey, bottom line in this league? If you don't win, you get whacked.'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

Gary turns 40.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"The court granted me a new identity!"

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

Baby's first words.

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"Let's take in a trial."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'If you plead guilty to being the Cat Burglar, I can get you off with just being declawed.'