Courtroom Comedy Lovers Gifts

'Overruled, you may continue.'

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

'Community service? Okay... but one at a time, hey?'

'OK, you want to sue your parents because they raised you in a healthy, happy and loving environment, thereby ruining your chances for ever appearing on 'Oprah.' Correct so far?'

What on earth made you decide to go into law, Mr. Fusco? Honestly? I have a women-with-gavels fetish.

Boy in courtroom

Pig to lady: 'I'm an expert at messy divorces.'

Employment Tribunal: 'My client would like it known that contrary to popular opinion, he is hardly ever ill.'

'Do you understand?'

"Truth in advertising."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

A baby in court

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"The court granted me a new identity!"

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."