Court Comedy Lover Pillows

'That's one! Any more hurtful comments and you're gone!'

'He was a good coach. But hey, bottom line in this league? If you don't win, you get whacked.'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

Gary turns 40.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"The court granted me a new identity!"

Baby's first words.

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Let's agree to disagree.'

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

"Let's take in a trial."

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."