Court Appearance Gifts

"I think I prefer not to have the cuffs show that much."

"This is a good match. Are you being tried here or in L.A.?"

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Gary turns 40.

"Bailiff."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

No caption

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

Arrogant junior barrister

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"That's right, think of yourself all the time! I'm the one who will be losing a client for the next twenty years."

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

Pinocchio and Partners Lawyers.

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'