Attending Court Gifts

Maybe we should talk on the phone tonight to coordinate what we're going to wear to court tomorrow.

Sloaney Pony.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Bailiff."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'I got a suspended sentence.'

Arrogant junior barrister

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

I am your BIGGEST fan!

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"Overruled."

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

Judge

"Guilty! I hope you're not expecting any positive feedback."

Pinocchio and Partners Lawyers.

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'Well, son, the justice system depends on finding 12 people who are smart and impartial enough to judge the accused intelligently without malice or favor.'

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'