Course Comedian Gifts

'Since this sinkhole showed up, this is an easy par 3.'

Golfers with bumper sticker 'How do you like my DRIVING?'

Golfer missing his shot.

'You don't have to shout fore when you putt.'

'What's your handicap?'... 'The huge fee you're charging for my golf bag!'

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'But I digress...'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

Gary turns 40.

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'Hole in one!!!!'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"