Humorist On The Course Gifts

'Forget the water, give me some golf clubs. I haven't swung a club in days.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

Bob's Driving School.

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

"You're not going anywhere, young man, until you probe and release your catch!"

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

Southwick College: Basically, for the most part, usually - a meritocracy.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

Golf Score Reducer

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'

"You have a good lie."

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer