Comedian On The Course Gifts

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

"Will you stop saying 'I thought you liked a bit of rough...!!'"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"Three more years of high school."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'Hole in one!!!!'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Don't you hate...

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"I'm you, from the future, here to deliver a witty comeback line."

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Hole in forty-seven.