Courageous Commentators Pillows

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

Doom & Gloom

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

Do you believe in money at first sight?

"Thanks for my pocket money Dad. But you forgot to add 17.5% VAT."

People want as much government as they deserve.

'This is my wife, Viola, who I've been happily married to for twenty five years.'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

Our staff are very pleased, she's one of the brightest in her class. (What do you expect? I'm a genius!) I don't know where she gets it from...

"Once you get past the divine right of kings, I'm not much into theology."

"Before you say no to this prescription, let me also say that your monthly tax-deductible gift will help support a pharmaceutical executive in need."

"Thanks, but no thanks -- Valentines just lead to the hard stuff."

'Never mind dear, at least you cut him with your razor sharp wit.'

'I think I've solved my drinking problem.'

'Without a pay raise, it's impossible to attract good people to government -- why, just look at me!'

GPs press for sick note reform

"I used to have a good head for business. Then I went and got married."

'I'm just reaching my sexual innuendo peak.'

Superiority of Cats.

'Showed me up you did, the only one politely applauding and wearing a tie!'

"This is the dumbest idea ever! I'm just gonna call Estella and ask her what's up."

'I'm sure there's a place for humor in this world, but I've never discovered where that is.'

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

How come you never know a famous artist until he's dead?