Complimentary Commentator Pillows

'That dress certainly matches your eyes.'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'The recession is over, again.'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

Pundits

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

"But is it art?"

Do you believe in money at first sight?

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

The national cartoonists' speech-bubble strike enters its 2nd week...

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

People want as much government as they deserve.

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

"He's a genius at product placement."

"Since he retired, he fills his days complaining about 'woke' television."

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

"Tonight's big story... we're leaving you... it's not you, it's us..."

'That's the end of the news - (B****RD MEN!!)'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

Our staff are very pleased, she's one of the brightest in her class. (What do you expect? I'm a genius!) I don't know where she gets it from...

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"