Comical Commentator Pillows

Sex education

"Trouble is, now it's worked in London, all the other cities are going to want it!"

"I see that Kyle and Tina have two palm trees now."

"While a cure for curiosity remains elusive, it continues to take a deadly toll."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Wifi in Hell

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Cartoonist thinking'

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Tree of Public Opinion.

Sir Patrick Moore.

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"Can you hear me now?"

Pundits

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

The United States of Amazement

Chess on TV

"This is gonna be great!"