Couples Therapy Humor Pillows

"I regret the day we bought a memory foam mattress."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'While it's often said that laughter's a better medicine, I've learned that crying is best in solving disputes between husbands and wives.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

Express Therapy

"See how controlling he is?!"

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

"I know marriage is a partnership, but I didn't realise I'd be the silent partner."

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'